I don't know if I like being the adult.  I am aware that as a teacher, I have a lot of power.  I can send kids to the office and I can make their lives pretty miserable if I desire.  But I don't desire to do that...I just don't know what the right decision is. Some students just purposely push my buttons and put me in places that make me make the hard decision...bah!  I don't necessarily agree with suspensions...they don't learn anything and to the ones that get it, it's just a free day off of school.  (Shoot, if I could, I would like to get suspended for a day.)  At the same time, I can't let my kids walk all over me.  When they call me names and such, I can emotionally deal with it.  They are just children who are upset.  But if I just let them go all the time, they will never learn that you can't do that.  If they do it out in the neighborhood, they will get jumped, shot, or I don't know.   *sigh*  Did I make the right decision? or should I have just let it go?

At the same time, 2 other kids brought BB guns to school today :(.  2 of my good kids at that.  They never cause any trouble and they try really hard.  Then they thought it would be a good idea to shoot each other at recess :(.  Why do parents buy 3rd grade children BB guns? Maybe they are cool toys that guys just enjoy...but 3rd grade?  Isn't that a little too young? They too got suspended.  One of them can't afford to miss school...he's academically very behind : /.

Sometimes I wonder...how much of a difference can I really make in their lives?  Does anything I do let them know how much I care about them and want them to succeed?
All in all, I made 3 students cry today...I should've been the one crying. Tomorrow, I will be 3 students short, but my heart sure does feel heavy.

I am looking forward to my ALL EXPENSE PAID trip to Austin next week.  I need a break from my children :).  I feel like an important business woman going on a business trip :), but it's kind of scary thinking about having to mingle with strangers.